Dear Self, Today I did Well
Did you see that? I did well today, Dear Self.
For this day, we waited a long. We crossed a lot of struggle, felt dilemmatic and even imprisoned into our own thoughts.
I was afraid, and was unfamiliar with anything that’s happening around. I wanted to be Alone, with myself and was not interested in materialistic needs of this world that’s going beyond me.
When I was into a task which wasn’t interested me enough to push my limits, I was force to pull off my heart.
I was afraid and trembling enough, that my body felt. Yet I don’t want the crowd to see me in my weak stages. I white lied that I’m fine, sometimes I feel overwhelmed too “Why I say the Crowd I’m Alright?” If I say the crowd I’m Weak, Is that make me free or belittle to push me aside into a corner?
Sometimes I confuse my confidence and boundaries, “I don’t to do it” my boundaries echoed.
“You can do it” my self confidence over stepped.
I also feel a conflict with my heart and mind. And I don’t know who wins, this emotion is from both sides of the heart and mind.
The Journey I crossed across, wasn’t same all the time, it had flowers and thrones, it had pebbles and slippery rocks, it had heat and cold, it had Strom and Rainbow, it had Moon and Stars.
It was all on myself, my own mindset and heart’s will to give me the seasons I wished for.
When I felt low I had Strom, but I can’t endure to travel longer without seeing anything at front, as my eyes are filled with waters and tears. But I wanted to go forward I can’t sit for place to abide for longer, Because I know it’s not my destination Even though I can rest, I can’t stay there.
So it’s on my mind and heart to go away forward again.
I don’t share my emotions to others, I don’t think it’s Vital to get shared too. I don’t know if that’s okay to get shared. I share my emotions but it’s not the deepest emotions, I have my family yet a teen’s emotions are beyond for them, I mean they can understand it, but sometimes I feel awkward or lectured while sharing it.
But writing was always there for me, I write stuffs here mentioning all of these and that made me happier.
Today when there’s a lot of pressure on my heart, I opened my mind and thought to talk.
I did pretty well, for this day there’s a lot of days together to get prepared, sometimes I feel silly these things of my Life aren’t tough but I’m making it as it is.
I’m happy for being here, I happy to get born here in this Earth, maybe sometimes in my life I feel low but there’s this undefeated fact, I love to live here. Despite of Hates, that’s the Truth, To be Loved by Ourselves and Others, that’s what we all find a stillness in us.
Dear Self, with lots of Strom thanks for being strong enough to create a Sunshine.
